I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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