If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
