me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
