I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
