I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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