also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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