it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
