from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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