what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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