i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
