There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
