I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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