so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
