So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
