i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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