He had one of those small greek statue penises
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
