oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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