Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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