I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
