Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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