You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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