When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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