Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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