i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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