Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
