This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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