If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
