I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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