I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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