Kiss
Puke
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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