I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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