well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
