I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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