i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
