I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
