but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
