How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
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Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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