You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
tell me about the fingering
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