i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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