Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
