there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it hurts more in the daytime
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you never un-have a 4some
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just gargled with NyQuil
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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