just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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