They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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