I like to think it a success when the cops are called
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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