I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
