imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
