My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Found the puke drawer
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
