what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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