I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
