i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm too high and old for this...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize