We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
try to milk me bitch
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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