So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You were trust falling into bushes
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
