Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
