Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
