508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
