I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We're too hungover to prance.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
