the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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